Thursday, December 20, 2012

20 ways to stay YOU when in a relationship. (I'm still learning)


So the boy and I have moved at rapid paces. Space/Time continuums and sound barriers have been broken and shaken and the world has "flipped turned upside down." Love is crazy cool, but keeping balance is neccessary as well. So here I am with a few tips on how to stay sane and whole when a whirlwind sweeps you off your feet.

1. Go out with your girlies as often as possible (And not just when he is busy playing video games)

2. Get dolled up (Just cause you landed a guy doesn't mean you should stop feeling frilly and pretty)

3. Watch all the movies and veg out as much as you want. (He doesn't have to join you. cuddles would be nice but are not mandatory)

4. Being bratty doesn't get your way but being confident and taking action does.

5. READ MORE. Expand your mind.

6. Keep focus on those BIG things you had in mind before he walked in. (CASA volunteering, Travelling, Saving the world etc.)

7. Balance interests. Don't take up all his activities and never ask him to share in your funs.

8. Sing as loud as possible as often as possible.

9. Dance parties are imperative to a healthy life. (It's science)

10. Smile more than you frown. (The prettiest girls are happy girls)

11. It's ok to get upset though. We have feelings. Dudes need to deal.

12. Wear Red Lipstick (And make him kiss you)

13. Wear heels (Even if it means being taller than him)

14. Keep planning your ideal future. If he is "the one"(which I don't believe in) he'll fit there. You won't have to change your dreams to suit him.

15. Read your blog from when you turned 30(or any list of goals). Do more of that!

16. Love him for who he is. (Not who you think he can be or who you want him to be)

17. If you find #16 hard. Let him find someone who can love him that way. You'll both be unhappy if you don't.

18. Love yourself for who you are. When/If you have disagreements don't crumble. Know that the same goes for him. If he doesn't love you just as you are someone else will. No hard feelings, just truth.

19. Be grateful. Tell him.

20. Wake up every morning and smile. Then continue the day doing more things to keep that smile there. Those things...they are what make you, You. So just keep doing them :)

**Sidenote**
My fella is amazing. Loving him is easy and I don't ever feel like I need to change. 16-18 were from past experiences :)

Thursday, December 13, 2012

An open letter to those who love me. (And who care to read)


"Jump. Leap. Embrace. Experience. Feel. Hope. Relinquish. Forgive. Love!"

For the past year I have yearned for a life of adventure. I have molted. I have shed insecurities and gained strength. I have become more self aware. I have learned to Love better. I have not lost myself. I have not become easily swayed. I have not lost intention.

With this new person I am forming I have chosen a path that is exciting and new. Doubt isn't allowed here. Critical thinking is a constant but it is coupled with loving kindness.

For once in my entire life I am jumping in. Embracing what will come. Experiencing something I deserve. Allowing myself to feel all the giddy, girlish, happy, lovely, sweet, wonderful feelings. Letting hope fill the air and permeate my home. I am relinquishing all fear and breaking the walls. I am forgiving the past and only looking forward to the future. And I am absolutely and completely in-LOVE

Life is this crazy mix of wonder and hurt. Both are inevitable. But to guard against either one and not allow them their due course in your life is to deprive oneself.

I am learning to embrace it all. Heartbreak from lost friends. Hugs from my neices and nephews. Inflicted Guilt. A first Kiss. A text from a friend that makes me smile. Misunderstandings that lead to tears. ALL OF IT!

I do not go into any of it with a notion that life will be perfect or that it will be easy. I am simply embracing the option to open myself up. Completely.

I am starting a new journey. It is weird and fast and splendidly amazing. I love those who love me but want you to know I will be ok. I am strong and wise and can get through a lot. Especially because I have people like you who care so much.

But I beg of you to trust me. Know that I do not enter into anything without thinking. Thinking is what I do. But along with that is a heart of whimsy. An adventureous spirit and a longing for a story to tell. I am writing my story and this chapter is going to be fantastical, I promise.

"...Living is Grand."

Friday, December 7, 2012

Searching for Validiity

I do this thing where I get upset. It's a normal occurence, right. I mean we all have feelings and emotions and expectations. We all exist differently and when two worlds collide there is bound to be a little bit of uncomfort sometimes. I know all this, and yet...

I NEVER FEEL VALID WHEN I GET UPSET.

EVER!

I always feel like I'm being silly or "crazy" or ridiculous. That my emotions and brain have done it again. Gone against me to make yet another person think, "Maybe (so and so) was right.." and "I'm outta here"

I've learned to infuse logic into my life. To talk myself down off emotional ledges. However when you've had 2 people that knew you more than anyone else in the world walk away because you (and your emotions) made them miserable, you tend to not trust those wacky things with the fervor you once knew.

I have issues, man. Serious, Deep-rooted ones. We all do, I know.

Right now, living with intention is helping me through this. Helping me know when what I'm feeling is valid. But it is definitely not easy. In the deep caverns of my mind, saying how I feel equates to people leaving.

So I am doing ok. I am implementing the things I write about here (ACTION BLOG WHAT UP?!!) But sometimes when I'm sick and pms-ing and miscommunication happens, I fall asleep crying.

However, I wake up the next day and instead of moping or perseverating, I decide that I am entitled to what I felt but that it is a new day. One where I realize where I went wrong but don't take all the guilt.

If you always feel invalid and take on blame you are left with an empty shell, becaues you just keep bending and giving and having lumpy rugs with lots of stuff underneath. So I am not doing it. I am not vomiting emotion, but not sweeping it away when it is important either.

Sometimes I learn. Sometimes I find validity in myself. Working on making that all the times.