Grateful for my Loving Appreciation of Beauty and Excellence.

I am currently reading (And have been for months now) Authentic Happiness by Martin Seligman. It is the follow up to Learned Optimism, which I had read last year.

Among the millions of life pushing, Encouraging inspiration it offers is the Character Strength test. This test asks you a myriad of questions about your preferences in life and then ranks your character strengths in ascending order.

I enjoy learning more about myself. It's fun. I'm confusing, yo, and any help I can get to decode is a welcomed experience. So I eagerly filled out the questionnaire and hit finish. What came next was not necessarily a revelation or something new.

My top Strength is The Capacity to Love and Be Loved, Followed closely by Appreciation of Beauty and Excellence and Gratitude.

I had high hopes for this intel. "Finally!" I thought, "I'll be able to find a fulfilling career path and dwell in contentment because I will live in alignment with my core values/strengths"

But WHAT ON EARTH does one do with those strengths?

I am too abstract even for my own liking.

I have sat back thinking and dwelling on this for a while now. And still have come up with very little in the way of marrying these strengths and weaving them into a substantial calling in life.

But what I do know for sure is that I need to practice them more often.

Contentment comes when I bite my tongue and choose loving words instead, when I hit the road and revel in the beauty of nature, when I attend a ballet and tear up at the talent the dancers posses, and when I sit down and dwell on what makes me grateful about this life.

None of these things will produce any kind of income. I hope to find a way to live out a calling that encompasses them all at some point.(if you have any ideas I'd love to hear them) But I will just start doing them all and maybe one day the stars will align, I will notice I am doing them all at once and therein will lie my passion work.

What are your core strengths? How do you live them out?

She stood there, hands gripped together and her mouth suddenly very dry. She listened to one of her favorite melodies accompanied by a sporadic beat. As she closed her eyes she transcended the room and the drumming seemed to dissipate. Then the music stopped and the thumping returned.

She took her mark, got her starting note, and tried to sustain the breath she knew she'd need.

And for once she did something with confidence and didn't let fear win.


I sing. And I'm not going to play the gracious humble girl right now...I'm pretty damn good at it. But, for some reason, I have not done much with the gift I was given. Though it has been a dream of mine to be on stage since I was as little as I can remember, there was always a fear, an excuse, as to why I wasn't good enough.

My teeth are crooked, I'm too fat, I can't dance, I can't do runs like Mariah Carey, I don't have enough training, They only cast people they know (which isn't entirely untrue) and the list could go on for quite some time. I have 31 years of excuses.

In fact, 2 1/2 weeks ago I had told my friend, "Oh, I'm not sure I can get the time off. I don't think I'll go to the audition" I realized I'd kick myself if I didn't at least try so I went to my boss and said, "SO there's this audition, but it's during my shift and it's TOTALLY FINE if I can't get a few hours off to go. I would TOTALLY understand." To which he said, "I'm sure we can work it out"

"Damn!" Now I HAD to go. And for reasons still unknown to this "If you Don't Try you can't really Fail" kind of girl I decided I was going to actually put an effort in. I was going to see a vocal coach and practice as much as possible. That combined with a slew of amazing encouragement from friends and family my faith in myself grew. I went in there and was called back for one of the most iconic roles ever and a role I had marked on my bucket list!

I don't know why I have always considered myself not quite good enough. No matter how many people told me I had a talent, I rebuttled in my own mind that there is always someone better. And during these last 2 weeks I have come to realize that if someone is better it is only because they have worked harder. I have internalized that I am just as talented as those I admire and the only thing holding me back is me. (Could that sound more cheesy?) Cheese or not, it's beyond truth.

So last night, I entered a building with one of my best friends and a new confidence in my abilities. When they called my name I stood there and gave one of the best performances of my life. I walked away knowing I couldn't have done anything better and to me that is a win!

Confidence is an amaing asset in this life. Belief in oneself means not worrying what other people think. I can truly say, whether I get the part or not, I KNOW I was one of the best people in that room, and it says NOTHING of my talent if they don't choose me.

Thank you to EVERYONE who helped me get to this point. And a special Thank You to Ms. Sharon Burley for bringing out of me what I knew I had in there somewhere. You are a GEM, Lovely Lady!

Eventually I will start in on the confidence I need in the rest of my life, but for now I will revel in this perfect moment.