Someone Special To Me

I decided a Month or so ago that I wanted to start a series where I highlight the people in my life. Because, not to brag or anything, the people in my life are RIDICULOUSLY AMAZING! I mean it. I'm not sure how it happened. How this life became a place for some of the worlds finest to seek me out and befriend me. Or, even more of a blessing, own me and I them in the Title of Love we call family.

On this first venture into this I decided I wanted most to highlight someone who I miss terribly. Someone who God said "You are joined in a union no man can break. You are Sisters" And who I wish I talked to and saw More.

This is my amazingly GORGEOUS sister Shannon. She Has beautiful Blue eyes, a tiny waist & is a hip, cool, Tatted up Mom. She has a sensitive heart and tells it like it is.

When I was 15 and she 21 she would pick me up and take me to get Jamba Juice and hang out by the beach. She was the most beautiful, Cool Big sister and I felt a little bit more Cool just hanging out with her for the day. I felt a little more beautiful when people would call me "little Shannon." And I felt a little more confident knowing she liked to spend time with me.

My sister is an AMAZING mother. Her boys are funny and confident and RIDICULOUSLY handsome. They adore her, as they should. And she lives her life to make their life easier. I hope to be like that when I have kids some day.

My sister is ALWAYS there for her family. Every Birthday. Every Funeral. Her commitment to family is admirable and APPRECIATED. Miles don't matter. She believes in being there. That makes my heart happy.

I am saying all this Big Sister, to let you know just how much you mean to me. Life for us has not been easy. We have had quite the number of obstacles to overcome but just know that your love and attention has always made me a little stronger. You're life has made a difference to so many, but right now, I'm taking this time to say just how much you have impacted mine in Big, Huge, WONDEFUL ways.

You are beyond Lovely and I want you to know that. REALLY know that. Your heart, Your Love, Your Character...All of it! Simply Lovely.

I love you beyond words. Forever! Even when we don't talk all the time. Even when Feelings get hurt or Misunderstandings arise. I Love You!

Love Always,

Your Little Sister

"We Cannot all do Great things. but we can all do small things with GREAT Love"- Mother Teresa

As a kid I craved acceptance. I desperately wanted to be liked and admired. I lived in this little, or rather Large, space in my head filled with dreams and hopes of Grandeur. Somewhere along the way I adopted the outlook that if only I could do Great things I will have lots of friends and people will think I'm something special. This started very young. At age 6 I was dreaming of Hollywood and being a child star. I idolized Mouseketeers and Kids that were Incorporated. If I could be an actress I could pretend to be popular and funny and likeable and attractive...

In short, I bought into it. The lie the TV tells. The image that fame and fortune brings happiness. But it wasn't all on them. With a Famous streak in my family it was just something instilled in me. Grandpa did it! He's a star! I want to be like him too.

As I grew into adulthood this Granduer concept morphed. I started idolizing men and women who gave their lives to others. Humanitarians were my new superstars and I wanted to be just like them. But by that I meant. I want to travel to an untouched land and start a charity that no one has ever been brave enough to think of and when people think of me they will think, "That Krystle. She is something special. Look at how amazingly loving and giving she is...And that Voice!"

There is something not quite right here.

You see up until recently I have felt like a failure. I'm 30 and have never traveled the entire earth (or even crossed an ocean) or started a non-profit or become a YouTube sensation. I have yet to recieve accolades for my humanitarian efforts or Join the Peace Corps. And this makes me discontent.

I have been on this enlightening, grueling, wonderful, gorgeous, painful, lovely journey to inner joy and happiness and my lifes path/purpose has been one of those forks in the road. I keep coming back to my discontent in that area. I am a fly by whim kinda girl. But also a wee bit irresponsible. I have attributed my lack of acheiving GRAND things to this lack of stick-to-it-iveness. But in truth, I believe I am ready to say, it isn't that at all.

My life is full. Wonderfully full. I am surrounded by some of the world's finest human beings. And they even call me friend. They have told me that my life has made a difference in theirs and that I am Loved. I have an amazing job that allows me to wake up at 10 (if I want to) almost every day. I am healthy. My Mother has loved me deeply and with as much fervor as possible my entire life. My siblings are my best friends and will never leave me. My dog wakes me daily with joy in his little heart. I wake up every day and smile at myself in the mirror because it makes me feel good and because I honestly have no reason not to. I NEED to redefine my idea of a life lived well.

I DO NOT NEED TO SAVE THE ENTIRE WORLD AND BE SHOWERED WITH PRAISE TO BE A SUCCESS!


This is a hard lesson for me to learn.But it is utter truth. I have GREAT LOVE in my heart. SO MUCH of it to give and if I go through this life and never touch down in India or Africa but share my heart with the people in the communities I inhabit I am doing something worthwhile with my life. If I never start my own non-profit but allot 2% of my income to helping someone who needs it I am living life well. I no longer need to be praised for my life. I no longer have to work for acceptance. I actually never did. I don't have to pretend to be popular, likeable, funny and attractive I EMBODY ALL of those traits and actually my other characteristics outshine most of them.

Contentment, Joy, Acceptance are all very attainable goals. Even for a wild over-thinker such as myself. Happiness lives inside where it should not be able to be permeated. Only we allow that to happen.

I'm still a work in progress. I always will be. But today I can say. I am VERY successful!

"Think Like A Man" & you'll know "He's Just Not That Into You"! "Tough Love" Baby!

^ I truly Love this Chic! She is just so damn adorable! But I digress...

There is a definite influx of Shows, Books, Movies etc where the premise is

"Girls, if you ever plan to land a man you are not going to do it by being yourself and acting like the woman you were created to be."

Now don't get me wrong. I have read books like "Why Men Love Bitches" and "The MANual". I have taken notes while watching movies like "He's Just Not That Into You" and Shows like "Tough Love" I have questioned my girlish nature and bit my tongue (not very often I must admit) when I start fancying a certain fella.

BUT WHY?!

Why is it the girls job to change? Why is it our role to play this silly game?! FOR ONCE I'd like to see guys flock to the book stores to figure out how to please a Girl. How to be caring and strong. How to lead but know the wisdom of a woman and listen. This trend is fully one-sided.

I have 2 hypothesis..hypothesi?...Two guesses as to why this could be. And I am going to share.

A) Woman are seekers. If there is a book about how to be better...we will read it. WE CARE! We want to please. It is in our DNA to do so. We are maternal and giving. We tend to cater. I'm not saying all women are this way and that ALL MEN are not. I'm just saying that I think this trend is playing on this trait in us. Knowing full well that we will buy into a way to Land a Man. Why else would we yank hair from our bodies and scorch our skin and paint our faces. We do it to find true Love. AND to feel good about ourselves...but societally it is to Find a Soul Mate. What do men do? They watch sports and sweat and say "*Grunt* *Grunt* You're ass is so nice" and expect us to be wooed. which leads me to my next Profound idea...

2) Men do not embody the traits of the gentlemen anymore. I feel our parents generation did a great disservice to their sons. They no longer learn the art of a compliment. They no longer tip their hats to a young lady as she passes(sidenote: why don't more men wear cool hats) They no longer feel the need to be the head of a household, care for a family, LEAD! They grew up on video games and cell phones. A text has replaced a love note. They have not learned the art of wooing a lady. And I must say it makes me VERY SAD!

I want to open a gentlemen school. I want men to know how to treat a woman. NOT just like Ryan Gosling in Crazy, Stupid, Love

But, I won't lie, I wouldn't refuse his advances!

But I mean caring about the delicate heart of a woman. Caring for her. Loving her. BUT not being a total pussy at the same time. There is a fine line Guys...we don't want a GIRL we just want someone who knows how to treat us!

So here is my point. I am a grower. I am always interested in being better. BUT I'm not interested in playing a cat and mouse game. I AM interested in a mutual respect. I'm not interested in stroking your ego just for the sake of it. But I AM interested in stroking other parts of you if you care about my heart and well being.

It just needs to be even. When a guy puts in the effort that's when I will care too. I just don't want to buy into this non-sense that we are the only ones that need to learn the opposite sex. Because Men...YOU have a lot to learn too!

Krystle