"We Cannot all do Great things. but we can all do small things with GREAT Love"- Mother Teresa

As a kid I craved acceptance. I desperately wanted to be liked and admired. I lived in this little, or rather Large, space in my head filled with dreams and hopes of Grandeur. Somewhere along the way I adopted the outlook that if only I could do Great things I will have lots of friends and people will think I'm something special. This started very young. At age 6 I was dreaming of Hollywood and being a child star. I idolized Mouseketeers and Kids that were Incorporated. If I could be an actress I could pretend to be popular and funny and likeable and attractive...

In short, I bought into it. The lie the TV tells. The image that fame and fortune brings happiness. But it wasn't all on them. With a Famous streak in my family it was just something instilled in me. Grandpa did it! He's a star! I want to be like him too.

As I grew into adulthood this Granduer concept morphed. I started idolizing men and women who gave their lives to others. Humanitarians were my new superstars and I wanted to be just like them. But by that I meant. I want to travel to an untouched land and start a charity that no one has ever been brave enough to think of and when people think of me they will think, "That Krystle. She is something special. Look at how amazingly loving and giving she is...And that Voice!"

There is something not quite right here.

You see up until recently I have felt like a failure. I'm 30 and have never traveled the entire earth (or even crossed an ocean) or started a non-profit or become a YouTube sensation. I have yet to recieve accolades for my humanitarian efforts or Join the Peace Corps. And this makes me discontent.

I have been on this enlightening, grueling, wonderful, gorgeous, painful, lovely journey to inner joy and happiness and my lifes path/purpose has been one of those forks in the road. I keep coming back to my discontent in that area. I am a fly by whim kinda girl. But also a wee bit irresponsible. I have attributed my lack of acheiving GRAND things to this lack of stick-to-it-iveness. But in truth, I believe I am ready to say, it isn't that at all.

My life is full. Wonderfully full. I am surrounded by some of the world's finest human beings. And they even call me friend. They have told me that my life has made a difference in theirs and that I am Loved. I have an amazing job that allows me to wake up at 10 (if I want to) almost every day. I am healthy. My Mother has loved me deeply and with as much fervor as possible my entire life. My siblings are my best friends and will never leave me. My dog wakes me daily with joy in his little heart. I wake up every day and smile at myself in the mirror because it makes me feel good and because I honestly have no reason not to. I NEED to redefine my idea of a life lived well.

I DO NOT NEED TO SAVE THE ENTIRE WORLD AND BE SHOWERED WITH PRAISE TO BE A SUCCESS!


This is a hard lesson for me to learn.But it is utter truth. I have GREAT LOVE in my heart. SO MUCH of it to give and if I go through this life and never touch down in India or Africa but share my heart with the people in the communities I inhabit I am doing something worthwhile with my life. If I never start my own non-profit but allot 2% of my income to helping someone who needs it I am living life well. I no longer need to be praised for my life. I no longer have to work for acceptance. I actually never did. I don't have to pretend to be popular, likeable, funny and attractive I EMBODY ALL of those traits and actually my other characteristics outshine most of them.

Contentment, Joy, Acceptance are all very attainable goals. Even for a wild over-thinker such as myself. Happiness lives inside where it should not be able to be permeated. Only we allow that to happen.

I'm still a work in progress. I always will be. But today I can say. I am VERY successful!