Musings of a Shy Extrovert

"Reading maketh a full man; conference a ready man; and writing an exact man."

-Francis Bacon

I used to be painfully shy, rather insecure, and stuck in my head. Call me crazy but I didn't like it so much. As of late, however,  I've been realizing the beauty that is The Introvert. How subtletly trumps brashness and quiet earned wisdom is worth more than loud combative opinons.

I worked really hard to rid myself of my shell. Wear my heart on my sleeve and be able to connect to others. I like people. I like making people feel good about themselves and I enjoy knowing I'm considered a safe place. You all know this, already...Hello Redundancy! So I'm assuming this is why I am considered an extrovert. The Myers Briggs Personality Indicator indicates I am an ENFP. EXTROVERT, Intuition, Feeling, Percieving. Most of it I understand. But why am i an extrovert? Because I'm so friendly? I wonder if I had taken this test back in the day if I would have gotten the same result. I have always adored people. Hmmm...Anyway, I digress.

My point is simply that I am considered an extrovert despite my incredibly shy childhood. I used to call myself a recovering introvert. Now, however, I don't believe it is something to recover from. Not everyone WANTS to have tons of friends nor do they get energized by the company of others. So I had to realize that people can actually be content with their introverted ways and pushing them to do otherwise is just kinda mean. "We are all different, Krystle, crazy huh?!"

With all this being said, I still believe I have introverted traits. I have an inward focus and a strong sense of self which makes me highly self-concious. And I bathe in sarcasm...to name a few

*segue*

I have been following the #VEDA (Vlog Ever Day in August)  posts by a few of my twitter friends. They are so fun and you REALLY get to know the participants. One of the topics was communication. I was watching Eleni's Post from that day and in it she discussed how she is much more comfortable when writing than in person. I first "met" her via her musings on her blog. She is brilliant! Her words about life have quite literally given me chills and caused misty eyes. So to hear her OWN her preffered form of communication was inspiring and got my wheels turning. And this is the ponderating that occured...

With the advent of constant written communication less and less people talk in person or create an actual connection with others. This is sad to me. Also it has been said that the internet is the "fake", "perfect" etc. version of yourself. I, myself, have often thought that if someone met me in person they would find out I am not as whitty and enjoyable in person as I "Seem" on the internet/through my writing.

But is this the truth? I mean. Just because you are taking your time to say exactly what you mean and saying it precisely the way you want to, does that make this version of yourself false? It lives in you. The words are still yours they just aren't as knee jerk when confronted with a constant flow of conversation. I can honestly say that when writing my blog it is rare that I pause. I tend to just let the thoughts flow through my fingers and hit Publish. From time to time I go back and edit misspells and grammatical errors etc. but for the most part the musings/what I am saying stays the same. When I am with someone in person though, I would never be this insightful or Eloquent. I stumble over words and correct myself over and again. But here, where I have time to form a solid topic and dwell and then put out there what I really want to say, I am ME. I am the person who lives inside and doesn't get to come out very often because Extrovert Krystle doesn't know how to shut up and just formulate solid points. She just spews streaming thoughts with no definition. Here, this place, is where I slow down, hone into my former shy/introverted self and let her out in all her wise and lovely glory.

So I  motion to stop thinking that the writer in us is the false version of us. In my opinion it is the purest and most honest. It's just the part of us that lives inside. It is in this place that we are Exactly who we are.